Broken Rebel (Sparrow Sisters Book 2) Page 14

  I liked the way we tipped to one side and then the other as Timber stepped. The rhythm was soothing. As we got more comfortable riding, Johnny suggested we leave the pasture and ride around the countryside.

  Outside the fence, Timber let loose. Johnny gripped me tightly with one hand, and the reins with the other as we galloped across the grass toward the trees. I had the insane urge to shout, to scream my joy into the wind. I laughed instead, and when Timber slowed near the tree line where a small stream burbled, Johnny pulled the reins so he’d stop. “You okay?”

  I turned in the saddle so I could see his face. The breeze blew lightly across my skin, and he tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “Yes. That was wonderful. But let’s stop here for a while so I can kiss you again.”

  Chapter 20

  Johnny

  After taking a long drink from the stream, Timber grazed by the water. Audrey and I lay in the grass on our backs, looking up at the colorful sky in between kisses. I offered to take Timber’s saddle off so we could lie on the saddle blanket, but Audrey said she liked grass. “It would be a shame to bother Timber,” she added, glancing at the horse.

  Audrey picked a purple clover flower and pinched some of the petals in her fingers, pulling them out. She popped them in her mouth, and I laughed, incredulous. “Did you just eat that?”

  “You’ve never eaten clover?”

  I shook my head. “Why would I? A coyote could have peed on that.”

  Laughing, she pinched a few more petals and held them over my mouth. “Open up.” I kept my lips pressed tightly together. She brushed the petals across my mouth. “Are you scared to eat a flower, Johnny?”

  “Yes.”

  She put the petals in her mouth, sucking on them and smiling at me. “Mmm, so sweet.”

  I leaned up on my elbow and pressed a kiss to her lips. I hovered there, watching her face. I wanted to memorize every expression, every tiny muscle movement. I traced her eyebrows with a fingertip. I trailed my finger down the bridge of her nose. “You have some freckles here.”

  “I get them in the summer.”

  I kissed her nose.

  She looked at me coquettishly. “I also have some freckles on my shoulders.”

  “Yeah?”

  She nodded. I trailed my fingers down her neck, and she shivered under my touch. I pulled the neckline of her dress aside, revealing her bare shoulder. I looked back to her eyes to make sure she was enjoying this. Her bright eyes and the way she held her bottom lip between her teeth told me she was. I placed a kiss on her shoulder, then another. I let my mouth linger, swirling my tongue over her soft skin.

  She released a sigh of pleasure, and I kissed across her collarbone and up her neck, until I found her mouth with mine.

  A while later, after kissing her until I had to stop, she lay her head on my chest. I wrapped my arm around her, not wanting to let go, not wanting this night to end. I didn’t want any of it to end, not ever. I wanted this, with her.

  I’d wanted it for a long time, but now that I knew her better, I wanted it more. Did she want the same thing? Was she serious about this, like I was? My heart thumped in my chest, and my earlier joy was replaced by fear that I was going in one direction and she was going in another.

  I wasn’t the kind of guy that girls attached themselves to. One girl had actually told me I wasn’t boyfriend material. I’d tucked that comment deep inside, and every now and then it hurt anew.

  I turned my head toward hers, and breathed in the scent of her hair. Desperate to make myself known, to make sure she wanted what I wanted, and unable to keep my cool and wait and see, I blurted, “I’m not who everybody thinks I am, Audrey.”

  She tipped her head up to look in my eyes. “I’m not who everyone thinks I am, either.”

  I relaxed slightly. That was true. People had her pegged wrong. Not completely, of course, she was kind and generous and sweet. But she was also fiery and strong-willed and adventurous. I kissed her forehead.

  “I want more for my life than it may seem like, with me working in the body shop and living with my mom.”

  She traced circles on my chest with her finger. “What do you want? Tell me.”

  “I want to take care of my mom. I want to own my own bike shop someday, where I restore old Harleys and sell them. I want the big house out in the country, nothing but trees and pasture for miles. I want kids and a wife, and I want to see the world.” I ran my hand up and down her arm. “I want to kiss you on a mountain and in the ocean. And in Morocco.”

  She laughed. “Morocco?”

  “Everywhere.”

  “And you want to see castles.”

  “Yes. I want it all.”

  “I want that, too. The house, the family, the world.”

  “I know all that stuff is in the future, but I’m building up to it. I’m saving and trying. For now, I want to know, Audrey, do you want me?”

  She lifted off my chest so she could see in my eyes. “I want you.”

  My smile was instant and uncontainable. “Yeah?”

  “I want to be your girlfriend. Just you and me.”

  I wound the length of her hair around my hand. “Then it’s official.” She lay her head back on my chest, and laughed. “What?” I asked.

  “You’re my boyfriend. I can’t believe it. I’m so happy. I’ve spent my whole life knowing what would happen next, but with you, I never know. The things you do surprise me, the things you say, and the things I feel. It’s crazy.” She laughed more.

  I held her tight, happy down into my bones. I hoped I could give her everything she wanted. I hoped I could make both our dreams come true.

  We rode Timber back to his pasture and while I put his saddle away, Audrey brushed him down. “Can we come back and ride him again?” she asked when I came out of the barn.

  “Sure. I think Clay’s grandpa would be glad to have someone ride him. With his arthritis, it’s almost more than he can do to keep him fed.”

  Audrey, comfortable with Timber now, kissed him on his velvety nose. She amazed me. She’d come here intimidated by him, and she was leaving as if she’d been taking care of horses all her life. “You don’t let fear hold you back,” I said.

  She looked up from Timber’s muzzle and smiled. “Unlike you, who won’t even eat a flower.”

  I laughed and shook my head, taking Timber’s reins and leading him into the barn, Audrey walking at my side.

  She flipped on the lights in the barn, and I saw that her expression had sobered. “It’s not true, Johnny. Fear holds me back all the time.”

  “It doesn’t seem that way to me.” I led Timber into his stall and shut the gate, making sure he had plenty of hay and water. “To me, you’re fearless.”

  She stood in front of me, searching my eyes. “I’m different with you. When I’m by myself, or when I’m with my sisters or with you, I feel distilled.”

  I grabbed her waist and pulled her to me. “Distilled?”

  She nodded. “Like I’m boiled down to my essence.”

  I rested my chin on top of her head, holding her. “Why do you feel that way with me, do you think?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’ve only ever seen your distilled self. You don’t hide who you are. You don’t fear judgment.”

  I laughed out loud. “Audrey, I fear judgment above all else.”

  She pulled back to look at me. “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you don’t change yourself because of that fear.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe that’s true. I’ve lived my life knowing people will judge me, usually poorly, and that’s just the way it is.”

  She sighed. “It’s too bad we can’t go into people’s brains and make them think what we want them to think.”

  I smiled and kissed her forehead. “We better go. Your curfew is coming up.”

  The ride to her house was peaceful. I’d never felt so settled in myself. Audrey was my girl. She wanted me, and I’d give her every
piece of myself she’d take.

  I stopped in front of her house, and shut off my engine. The porch light was on, and all the windows but one were dark.

  We climbed off and Audrey handed me the helmet and jacket. I put them in the saddle bag and put my arms around her waist. She put her arms around my neck, and we stood there for a long moment, hugging. “I like this,” I whispered in her ear.

  “Me, too.”

  After a while, she stepped back and said, “My dad’s office light is still on. Want to come say hello?”

  I scratched the side of my neck, hesitating, suddenly terrified in spite of what we’d talked about tonight, regarding her parents. I crossed my arms in front of me.

  She tilted her head to the side. “What’s wrong?”

  “Maybe we shouldn’t tell him I’m your boyfriend this late at night. News like that should wait until daylight.”

  She laughed and set her hands on my crossed arms, pulling them open. She stepped in, closing my arms around her. “Here’s what we’ll do. You’re going to come to dinner on Sunday, and you’re going to be your distilled self, and they are going to be pleased and happy that we’re together.”

  “I’m coming to dinner Sunday?”

  “Yes. Be here at five.”

  Chapter 21

  Audrey

  I peeked into the kitchen, making sure Mama was alone. She took the clean plates from the dishwasher and stacked them in the cabinet, humming to herself. I walked in and sat on a stool at the island. She smiled at me and closed the empty dishwasher. She passed me a washcloth and I started wiping down the island while she wiped out the sink. “Mama?”

  “Yes, love?”

  “I’d like to have someone over to dinner on Sunday.”

  “Sure. I was going to ask you what you thought about the Ashers coming over, but we can fit one more around the table if we squeeze.”

  Nerves coursed through me. I hadn’t expected this. The Ashers hadn’t come over since everything happened between Keaton and me.

  I tried to breathe steadily. This was Mama. It was okay to tell her anything. On the other hand, she worried. She was fiercely protective. But I felt fiercely protective of Johnny. It hurt me to think about the way he’d been treated in this town, to know that people misjudged him. So I quickly changed the course of my planned conversation, and forged ahead. “Have you already invited the Ashers?”

  “No, no, I was going to talk to you about it first, to make sure it was okay. I thought I’d mention it to them at church in the morning. Do you think you’d be comfortable having Keaton here?”

  I pinched my bottom lip. Mama and I hadn’t spent a lot of time together the last couple weeks. I had a lot to catch her up on. “Have you talked with Dianne about Keaton and me?”

  She frowned. “We haven’t spent time together in ages. She’s been unusually busy lately. Lots of appointments and things to do with the family.”

  My heart sank. One of my biggest fears was coming true. Because I’d been honest with Keaton, my mother was losing her best friend. “She hasn’t had appointments, Mama. She’s been avoiding you, and it’s my fault.” I put a hand over my mouth in an attempt to hold in my emotions.

  She walked around the island and sat on the stool beside me. She brushed my hair off my shoulder. “What do you mean?”

  “Dianne isn’t happy with me. She’s really not happy.”

  Mama knit her brows. “Because of Keaton?”

  I nodded.

  She studied my face, and seeing I wasn’t joking, she clucked her tongue. Then she pulled me to her in a tight hug. “Well, that’s ridiculous. She shouldn’t be angry about that. I know Dianne and I got a little carried away with the idea of you and Keaton being together, but I thought it was lighthearted. We never intended for you to feel pressured by it. At least I didn’t. When we saw you grow closer as you grew up, we thought it was happening naturally and we encouraged it. But you not wanting to date Keaton is no reason for her to be angry with you. I’ll talk to her. I’ll call her right now.”

  She made to stand, but I put a hand on her arm. “Wait. There’s more.”

  She sat back down. “What is it?”

  I licked my lips, trying to think, as all the ways I’d rehearsed to tell her this flew from my mind. “I’m seeing someone. It’s new. But I...I like him a lot. Keaton’s upset about it, and so is Dianne. I think they feel like I threw Keaton over for this guy. But that’s not how it happened at all. I never wanted to be with Keaton.” I paused to take a breath. “I overheard them talking about it when I was visiting Ruby the other day.”

  She squinted at me, concentrating hard. “This is a lot to take in. You heard who, talking about what?”

  “I heard Keaton and Dianne talking about me dating this new guy. Dianne was furious, Mama. She said I just need to get him out of my system and then I’ll regret it and go back to Keaton.”

  Mama made a face, taken aback.

  I rushed to soothe her. “I’m sure they were only venting. You know how it is when you’re at home with your family and you can say whatever is on your mind?”

  Abruptly, I clamped my mouth shut. The words I’d spoken didn’t sit right. I didn’t have to defend Dianne. Why did I always work so hard to make others comfortable? I lifted my chin and said, my voice shaking, “Actually, what they said hurt. It still does. It made me feel like they think I’m some silly little girl who doesn’t know what she wants.”

  Mama’s eyes were shiny, and she put her arm around me. “I’m hurting on your behalf. That’s awful, darling.”

  “I’ve ruined your best friendship.”

  She shook her head. “I’ll deal with Dianne later. What’s important right now is you. Are you okay?”

  “I just feel bad about all of it.”

  “Perhaps we should have them over tomorrow and discuss it as two families. Confrontation is never fun, but we can work through it.”

  “No,” I said immediately. “Can you...would you please talk to Dianne first? I don’t want to face her right now.”

  She kissed the side of my head. “Certainly.”

  She held me for a while, rocking me gently in a soothing way. I closed my eyes and just as I was calming down, she said, “Now tell me, who is this boy you’re dating?”

  I pulled in a slow breath and sat up, making sure to look her right in the eye, so she’d know I was serious about Johnny. “When I tell you, can you try to pause a moment before you decide how you feel about it?”

  Her eyebrows rose. Her hand flew to her chest. “Who is it, Audrey?”

  “Johnny Bright.”

  She blinked several times in rapid succession. She pressed her lips together in a flat line. Her nostrils flared. I shut my eyes and turned away, folding my arms on the counter and resting my forehead on them. Not her, too.

  Her hand landed on my back. “You must understand that my job is to keep my daughter safe.”

  Anger boiled under my skin. I thought my hair must be steaming. Still, I stayed as I was, eyes squeezed shut and head down.

  “My first instinct is to panic. I can feel it rising in me. I want to protect you, as I always have. But you asked me to pause. So I’m going to do that. Can you give me the moment you asked me to take?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  After a few long minutes, Mama cleared her throat. “I’m not sure how much of what a parent does accounts for the way a child turns out. My three girls are all so different that sometimes I think I played no part in it at all. Each of you is kind-hearted and generous, but you view the world in different ways. You are who you are. And I’ve always thought that you, Audrey, are an old soul. You see more deeply into others than most. You are a good judge of character. And you are nearly an adult. It occurs to me that I don’t know much about Johnny beyond what I’ve heard secondhand. Is he the guest you want to invite to dinner tomorrow?”

  I lifted my head and met her eyes. “Yes.”

  “And you’ve been out with him?”

/>   “We had our first date last night. But I’ve seen him around town.” I launched into the story of Louise the dog, then I talked about how his mother was a nurse and I knew her from the nursing home, and then I told her he took me dancing and horseback riding.

  As I talked, Mama’s expression softened. She put a hand on my cheek. “Have him come at five tomorrow, and I’ll take care of the Ashers.”

  “Thank you, Mama.”

  “Does your father know?”

  “No. I mean, I talked to him about Johnny once, but I didn’t tell him we were dating.”

  She smirked. “If you talked to him about Johnny, then he knows.”

  I laughed.

  “Now, what should we feed this boy?”

  A soft knock came at my door. “Come in.”

  Valerie swept into my room and sat on my bed beside me. “Mama says Johnny’s coming to dinner tomorrow.”

  A lot had happened lately that I hadn’t told my sisters, which was unusual for me. Most of the time I was an open book, but for some reason, I felt like keeping the things that happened with Johnny to myself.

  The idea of trying to explain it felt impossible. How could I describe the way his every touch made my stomach flip, the way my heart swelled when he teased me, the warm way he looked at me? It was impossible to put into words. I could only feel. And if I wasn’t with Johnny or at work, I wanted to be alone with my eyes closed, remembering everything that was said between us, every touch we shared, and conjuring those feelings.

  “He is,” I said, unable to keep the grin off my face.

  She glared at me. “I waited up for you last night.”

  I bit my lip and tried not to laugh. When I’d walked in after my date with Johnny, Valerie had been asleep on the couch. I put a blanket over her, said hello to Dad who hugged me but didn’t ask where I’d been—though now, after what Mama said, I figured he probably knew—and went to bed to think about kissing Johnny.

  “Imagine my surprise when Dad shook me awake around two,” Valerie said. “I looked in on you, and you were sound asleep. You’re lucky I didn’t wake you.”